Saturday, June 11, 2011

What the.....

Now folks please let me apologise for the title, frankly I was a bit speechless when I came across the particular article that is the subject of my current rant, but that has been suitably rectified and I have found my voice again, so to speak....thank the lord I can hear you saying. We are going to digress a little this week and hark back to my first blog and into another rant on parenting, or lack of.

But back to the article in focus this week, the title in question that was responsible for rendering me speechless went as follows, "UK Mum buys seven year old daughter a boob job for her birthday". Jesus, Joseph, Mary and the wee little donkey, what the fire truck is going on here...has the world gone mad? Now I am normally proud of my ancestral heritage and the fact that I can count on my stoic British cousins to uphold dignity and common sense in this crazy world we live in, so I read on further. Nope it was wasn't those wacky Beckhams up to mischief again, I kept reading, definitely not a promo for the next series of Little Britain either. Bugger me this is for real, I am sorry to my dedicated British follower, but it looks like my ancestral heritage is French for the next month or so.

The person responsible for this fine example of modern parenting technique is one Sarah Burge, who is described in the press as the "human barbie" and has allegedly spent £500,000 on surgical enhancements to herself. First warning sign, anyone that needs that much work done probably has some severe mental health issues in regards to where their place in the world is, and might not be the best role model for a young child. Do not get me wrong I am not against plastic surgery, I love a good boob job as much as the next bloke, but half a million quid of work, has this woman heard of the saying "you cannot turn a sows ear into a silk purse"? The next warning sign to spill forth from this mother of the year contender was reported as following. "Poppy(the child in question) isn’t interested in bouncy castles or pass the parcel, so I splashed out on something a little more grown-up," her mother, who hosts swinging parties and writes erotic novels, told journalists. What the....swingers parties, erotic novels. Imagine the conversations around that dinner table, "what did you get up to today Mummy"?  "Well sweety I trussed up this old geezer, gave him a right caning while I had my favourite latex suit on, your Daddy was sitting quietly in the corner, then I thought what a cracker of a story line that would make for my next novel."  Can you see where my title came from now?

 I have looked through history in an attempt to find other fine examples of appropriate gifts given to kids from their parents. A young Robert Mugabe was given a book titled  'Genocide for Dummies' on his seventh birthday no repercussions there....and George Bush Jnr was given a copy of  'logical thinking and its applications for public speaking' for one of his formative years birthdays...again money well spent. Ms Burge went on to say that the present in question was via the way of a voucher for when young Poppy turns 16, thank god for that, the thought of a seven year old running around with a set of hooters bigger than her head was a trifle disturbing. Heaven forbid that this child is bought up in a supportive caring environment and taught that beauty and confidence starts from the inside and not via the way of a surgical procedure. If later on in life a person decides that they want to head down this path for whatever reason so be it, but once again let kids be kids and parents be bloody parents.

Now Ms Burge I have a few words for you, some them are not fit for publishing here due to the fact that I want this blog to be accessible to all ages, but there are some left that I will use. Self serving, ignorant, lacking the basics of moral fibre and just plain bloody stupid. I am sure your eyes would be wide open due to the amount of botox you would have had(probably enough procedures to make even the skin of the saggy baggy elephant taut), so how about you use them. Your primary role is to be a parent to your child, to love them and guide them as they grow up and let them know it is ok to be a kid. Your child should be enjoying pass the parcel and bouncy castles for her seventh birthday, not a a £12,000 ‘exotic pamper party’, which included manicures in the back of a pink bus. For goodness sake Ms Burge you should be busting out the chocolate crackles and fairy bread for your kids party, not a set of DD knockers....I am tempted to continue on and comment on the over sexualisation of our kids via society and media influences but that will be saved for another day.

Ms Burge you are a disgrace....Rant over.

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